10. November 2018 at 19:45
Even though the main topic of this article is parenting and issues connected with it, it is not dedicated to parents anyhow but, on the contrary, to those who are just entering “an adult” world full of traps and pitfalls. To those who will decide how the destiny of the following generations will look like. To those who are the decisive start point. To you, who with the help of own wise actions can change the chain reaction of the previous generations.Let’s travel a bit to the past. The time when the majority of people were the type of emotional creatures “controlled by heart” rather than pragmatic ones controlled by a cool head. Even though there were people whose objectives were education, self-development and high hopes, the majority did not even think of things of that category. There is a very logical explanation to this since the main so-called mission in life was marriage and creation of a family, a really big family. In 1950s people were expected to start off their lives right after High School. It was almost a custom for girls around 19 years old and boys around 21 years old to get married (according to the statistic of a median age of first marriage age by gender) And, in case you are not married in your 20s and you do not have at least 1 or 2 children, something is definitely wrong with you.
If one judges that period of time from today’s modern perspective, it may seem not right or even illogical to some extent (of course not including those people who have a firm belief that this way is an only right way to spend a life. In case you are one of them, it is the right time you stopped reading this since the following words will be right from another perspective). However, taking into account the fact of education, developments both general and personal and simply the path of life, everything becomes crystal clear. It was a common way of life and due to the lack of knowledge of another way or the lack of ability to change it, people were following the previously mentioned kind of life. Therefore, the normality of such lifestyle was not even questioned.
What should have been questioned is the “quality” of life and future conditions of such families and their children. Not being able to provide enough for a good education, opportunities to develop or sometimes even for some basic needs as food and clothes, those young parents were foredooming the lives of their children and the children of their children. This chain reaction was and is an unstoppable one. If you were lucky enough to be born in a wealthy family with highly educated and personally developed parents, you had a “life insurance”. However, how about those children who were raised in poor families where parent barely could afford anything? The answer is more than simple – they were continuing the same style of life as their parents.
Nowadays the path of life has changed. In order to have a “happy” life, it is no longer enough just to finish school and start a family. In our modern world, you need to be educated, self-developed and mature enough in order to keep yourself first in good conditions and only then to think about the possibility of starting a family. Nevertheless, there are so many people who seem to live still in those past times. The ones, who treat this absolutely serious point in life almost careless and irresponsible.
Each and every person should have a test before becoming a parent (Dr. Shefali). May sound weird but why when you want to get a degree you have to study for years, passing dozens of exams? Why if you want to drive a car you need to get a license? Why trying to apply for a new position you go through evaluating procedures and when it comes to something more serious, namely a creation of a new personality, people are free to act whichever way they want? As experience shows, each parent should have at least a few degrees. Among them teacher, psychologist, doctor, personal motivator and mentor, adviser with an analytic and critical thinking and a lifelong support (both financial and mental) in every aspect of a child’s life. And these are just the most basic requirements. How many people would have been able to pass such test?
Nevertheless, the number of immature marriages and families is still relatively high. This has a direct connection with children’s low standard of life and parent’s as well. Moreover, as mentioned before, such decision foredooming the destiny of few future generations. Why? Because it is tremendously hard to get out of an “inborn” social status since it requires at least a prestigious education, continuous investments in your own future and the ability for self-development. Little of these things do actually happen in poor and immature families, where parents, even if they have a real willingness, cannot satisfy those “high-level” needs because of the first necessity of the basic needs. The chain may be changed by a child who is full of enthusiasm and willingness for a better life but it is super hard for one to break through, it is a titanic work.
We cannot choose our parents and the status of a family we are born at. We also cannot influence some events in life which leave no other choice and, indeed, the majority of parents try their best to make their children’s lives better than their own. However, we can choose the way we are going to parent and what we will be able to give to our children and, as a result, the children of our children. Treat it as a heritage, care or anything else. First of all, it is a responsibility which each and every person need to take, making a certain step. This way you will be able to bring your children to a world of opportunities and great chances rather than a lifelong suffering due to the lack of basically everything. Think twice before making decisions and be ready for the following effects, so your future generation will be wholeheartedly grateful for the lifelong gift of freedom.